Imagine me

A me within me

A Heart within that she

With waters crashing, mirthless

And black

A me within me

A Soul within that she

With skies rumbling, restless

And red

A me within me

A Mind within that she

With winds howling, reckless

And gray

A me within a me

A Being within that she

With creatures prowling, reinless

And white

Imagine Me

Carrying that she—

With bones and muscles seeking, quenchless

The Black, red, gray and white.

Undone.

Confused insect running in concentric circles

The corner of sealed packet severed from its body

Short leg of a table being called stumpy by it’s brothers

The last drop of shower just too late to touch the body

I know how you feel.

A spider’s work of life treated as dust

The strand of hair losing its place

The screw’s lovely blush mistaken for rust

The weed pulled out for its genus and race

I know how you feel.

Time and again,the black-board unapologetically being erased

The balloon about to be pricked into a vaporous tomb

The words smudged by salty-drops in a letter, unposted

An apple’s core with its dying children in its womb

I know how you feel

.
.
.
Conned.
.
.

Robbed.

A Lost "I"

"No happy ending.

Only compromises.

Shoved into darkness.

Naming  it Trust.

Playing the make-believe game of Love

Grabbing for Relationships-a fabled treasure trove

Finding a false security in numberless pictures

Forgettable moments camouflaged as memorable ones

Numerous contacts bored into a fake conversation

Artificial.

Superficial.

Mindless.

Nameless.

Existing only in caricatures.

Rambling about hope.

Cribbing about Change.

But at that dark moment standing friendless.

Seeing yourself behave in a way that you promised you never will.

Compromising on your character in the name of  ‘being nice’.

Family, Friendships,acquaintances, strangers

Acting with all of them

Fighting for all of them

But For you?

Are you complete?

Do you like the hypocrite you see in the mirror?

Do you like this half-baked Semi-truthful lump of flesh?

Don’t you smell the stench of falsities?

Don’t you hear the yowls for nourishment from the inner character?

Is that your hair curling in painful convulsions of cheapness?

Is that your leg limping in pitiful jerks of shriveled sureness?

Is this the end?

Are you yet another victim of the blind chastised cult called community?

Are you yet another hostage of this home of hypocrisy?

Have you turned into a noise of nosiness in a mist of mumbles?

Are you seeped-in with societal sewage in this sea of evolutionary fumbles?

Is that you laughing?

Or wickedness showing its teeth?Once again.

Is that you dancing?

Or is that the megalomaniac's ego gyrating?Once again.

Is that YOU preaching?

Or is it the incestuous WE dictating?Once again.

Do you recognize yourself?
Do you?
.
.
.
.
.
.

Who are you?"

yelped A Lost "I".

Once Again.

Little Somethings

RIPPLES.
like a disturbance caused by a lil drop in a pool
The sight of you triggers a million memories 
Slowly unraveling , invading a small area of my mind
It ravages ,in seconds the whole of my cognizance is hazy with your scent


UNREQUITED.
My ego has become your sentimental slave
My heart, a fawning fallible minister
My body, a submissive suggestive offering
My mind,a wishful welcoming plaything
Look here my love!
Look here.
Before I bleed myself for your attention.

STOP.
Innocence.play.instigate.prove. Reckless.drugs. Overdose. Wasted.STOP.
Eyes. Big. True. Compliment. Compete. Jealous. Deceive. Slut. STOP.
Pretty. Lovely. Alone.Unsafe. Unguarded. Rascals. Rape. Blood. STOP.
Decent. Charming. Ambitious. Perseverance. Tested. Stagnated. Disappointed. Suicide. STOP.

People.World. Today.Please STOP!

SKIP.
Lets not delve into the complicated details.
You know me. I know you.
Lets not brood over the statistics of its longevity.
I will love you. You will love me.
Lets not crib about territorial rights over each other.
I will be yours. You will be mine.
Lets Skip the unnecessary frostings of feelings. Skip it!
We are forever.Period.

You and only You

I talk ,you ignore
You talk,i consume
You cry,i hold
I cry,you sleep
You hurt,i forgive
I hurt,You blame
You create, I revel
I create, you mock
You try, I support
I try,you resent
You dream, I believe
I dream ,You laugh

My love,you take
Your ego, I bleed

LULLABY

Sleep my child

Little mischief like the wild

My little baby I rock you back and forth,

i rock you back and forth

Sleep little child let the dreams come forth

Stars! Galaxies! 

Witches with twitches.

Let your imagination take you to your own places

To build your own castles

Let that be your own world that leaves beautiful lil traces

Dream my child!

Dream!

You can be a rose!

You can be a swan!

And Promise me when you wake up

You will forever BLOOM and  you will forever FLY.

So sleep my child.

Let me rock you back and forth.Back and forth. Back and forth

I Love You,Forevermore

(On dad's 60th Bday.)

A Father defines what it is to be a Man in this clamorous cosmo

A man loves a woman like an equal,he does not hold her down ,he sets her free

A man takes the hand of his woman when he fumbles and proudly proclaims so

A man takes on his vices by the throat and punches them into a debris

A Father never  builds a fortress around his daughter,calling her a princess

instead he teaches and preaches, proudly unleashes her onto the world

He gallops,rejoices as she leaps around in the woods with her fiery tresses

He does not let her just wait around for her prince charming,lost in a dream-world

A Father shows the treacherous path to happiness,with his love and life as beacons

He chides her when she lags behind lazily ready to move into unknown darkness

His hope does not flinch even when she is easily enticed by life's shenanigans

Instead he regains the pieces of her dignity for her with his forgiveness

Being cradled in his laughter is her highest form of luxury

Being the reason for his pride is her highest badge of  honor

Ensconced in the warmth of his hand lies her Beautiful eternity

Ensconced in the fire of his heart lies her magnificent manor

His laugh forever dances in her bones

His humor forever twinkles in her eyes

His intelligence reflects in her different tones

His extreme emotions leap in her poetic cries 

Nanna,Never doubt my ardent worship of you

Never doubt my belief in the goodness of you 

Never doubt my undying faith in you

And never ever doubt my unconditional love towards you

I Wish upon my stars to be intertwined with yours,Beyond Infinity

I Pray upon my memories to be bottled up in my core,Beyond Immortality

Now and forever,

Forever and Beyond...

A Lioness' Freedom.

She is one pure majestic sight.
Her waist delicate,carved like the crescent of the moon tapering into beautiful golden paws. She opened her eyes,the corneas- a bronze delight!The wind moved touching her like it was a rare opportunity.And then the lioness roared "The pleasure of stretching and pushing the hind legs and digging the paws in the fresh green grass,rolling all over the pasture while the dew drops sweep my skin,The unadulterated morning wind rushing through my hair. Ah!Love this freedom. How can one not be happy here? Even if one tried they couldn't. Ah!The feline pride is something that's unmatched to any other creature"
This was her way to greet every day, Being proud of herself  and the world. To breath in the freedom and the pride of the place that she has in her kingdom. She walked like a Queen.Head held high.Paws poised.A graceful walk.
She stared at the warm morning rays of the sun and dipped herself in the pool .After a brief bath she was on a regal recce of her favorite places around.

As she reached a cluster of bushes where she usually likes to take her siesta. She saw another lioness.She was sizing her up,thought to herself-"She is beautiful,alright.But not as much as me" she flipped her mane arrogantly and walked towards her. This other woman was so sad,you could feel it in the air surrounding her. The Lioness hated when these other women became sad without a concrete reason. She snorted for her attention. The sad one didn't even lift her head up. Pissed off by the indifference,the Lioness left.The next day was the same.The Lioness was frustrated with this woman's behavior and thought "I am giving her a week.Tops!"
A week passed.
The next day she saw her again in the midst of the bushes-this time in an even worse state,she had tears rolling down her golden cheeks. The Lioness finally burst out "What happened? Whats your problem?" She asked in a tone of utter condescension.The sad woman replied "I came here a week before. Its stifling here, Its so overwhelmingly sad. I don't know who I am anymore."
The Lioness was shocked and confused "So you migrated? you can discover yourself here. You are free in this wilderness. All the possibilities!!The freedom of no boundaries. Breathe in.Smell it! Taste it! Ahhh! Can't you feel it?Just live it! " she said.
The other lioness was clearly surprised "Are you sure you know where you are? Are you sure this is freedom?"
The Lioness replied in vehemence"Of course I am! This IS Freedom!"
She asked "Have you seen the end of this expanse?"
"No,I haven't, there is no end, I might accidentally migrate to another place,if i ever want to see the end of it" said she.
The other woman let out a snort of sarcastic derogation "Follow this trail, when you return, I shall be happy. Follow this trail till you stop,you will know when to stop." she said ,turned her back and walked away.

The lioness thought it was a stupid challenge but walked on. Well this would be an opportunity for me to know my home she thought to herself. Its been ages since i walked around.So she went ahead with the challenge.
She sang,trotted and skipped her way onto the trail. She walked for 6 hours. She raised her head to see the sky trying to find the sign that the other woman was referring to. Her view was unclear due to something.She couldn't figure out what it was. She moved faster to know what it was. It looked like a pattern of hanging interlinked roots of some kind. Curious,she moved faster. She ran and ran.
She was huffing and puffing but she ran towards the hanging roots.

Suddenly,Her run was subconsciously stopped!

What lay in front of her was a horrific sight!
Her mind froze!
Her heart was beating faster.
Her breathes came in faster and louder.
Her fierce body fell onto the ground at the outrageous betrayal.
She had to close her eyes to stop this stifling slap of reality.
She opened her eyes again, slowly,much slowly,
To may be magically repaint what lay in front of her.
To may be realize it was an illusion of nature.
To may be see that it was a cruel joke by someone.
May be! Maybe!
But...
The WALL was still there.
A concrete wall that rose into the sky with iron fences.
Fences!!Barricades!A wall!

She turned left and right.The wall seemed unending.
And so was the sudden grief within her heart.

Her world was suddenly disintegrating.
Her feet trembled. She felt non-existent.
She didn't know who she really was.

Her memories have suddenly withered.
Her love suddenly annihilated.
Her mind suddenly became a fog of arid agony.
She stood aghast.
"All a facade!All a trickery!"

She looked at her paws.
She didn't know them anymore.
She felt her fur.
It seemed like a mat made out of  cheap weed.

She felt ugly!
She was ugly!
She heard the wind howling in laughter of derision.
She saw the sun whipping her cruelly with rays of cheap questions.
She felt the ground carrying her weight like she were an illegitimate child.

All of her life was a mere illusion of liberty.
Her Life-A cheap blanket of permitted choices given by somebody else's moth eaten prejudiced thoughts.
Indeed,a vile guise!
Her identity was made up.
All her thoughts were based on what was chosen to be shown.
All of her,was built on somebody else's orders.
All of her decisions were Somebody else's grants.


She stammered ........"FFFREEDOMM!!!??"........

The Voice.

I closed my eyes.
As soon as I close my eyes,she speaks to me,The Voice.
But now---
Silence!!!
Just pitch dark canvas of hollowness under the trembling blankets of my eyelids.
I closed my eyes harder,wrinkling my brow and frowning my forehead in a way that it translated into an echoing demand of "Where are you?"
Hit by silence again.
I knew it has been a long time since I talked to her.
I knew she might be angry with me.
But such cold silence?
I was taken over by sudden spasms of fright.
May be she got lost I wondered.
I stood alone in the tangible spatial arena within me, " I thought I had you safe in here, I thought I whisked this precious part of you away from the world...smuggled you into the folds of this beautiful world of serene nothingness of no boundaries.Where there is no age. Where there is no superficiality.Where there is no negativity. Just delightful conversations.Where are you? Quit this hide and seek.I have enough of that in the real world." I yelled with fanatical anger "Where ARE you!!?". Silence again.
I dug my eyelids even deeper,trying to mentally suck The Voice out from wherever she is hiding or from whatever place that she has trapped herself into.I was pleading and begging for just a word or a syllable or even a breath. A tear rolled out of the corner of my eye marking its way onto the side of my cheek to my earlobe.That tear was what I was most afraid of. It was an affirmation for the question that I was not ready to believe.
That single tear was also the mighty cork to a bursting well of tears.When that single barricade was broken there was no stopping, I wailed. I wailed for my lost Voice. I hiccuped with the sudden overlapping outbursts of wails,cries and pleas. I screamed with an angst for my lost voice. I knew it was all my doing. I lost myself in the midst of my busy chatter of a meaningless life. I didn't pay heed to her when she popped into say a Hello. I snubbed her when she raised a question on my character. I ignored her when she was hollering for just few minutes of my time. I have prostituted my mind,gave it piece by piece to people who triggered degradation of my life in the name of enjoyment.Who did not enrich it  but mutilated it with cheap complaints of no consequences, of no importance, of no reason.

My cheeks burnt with the molten tears of loss.
My mind remained pitch dark but it now had an eerie feeling of a broken home.
I stood alone on the threshold of a giant closed door.
When I unknowingly lit the pyre of my own Inner Voice, The doors have been shut.
I closed the door to my very own soul.

Curses or Cures

The three words-Life,Love and Purpose

Have tormented me in so many ways

My heart,body,mind and soul have become their timid preys

They've driven a storm of angst without any pardons or parleys

Why is all my being consumed by these three words

Why does my mind plague itself with the questions with no answers?

Why does the heart wring itself with a thorny twine of faith just to form a pool of tears

Why does the soul try to lash it out on itself for having plain human fears?

What pleasure do I derive from these chaotic conundrums?

Why do I try to find the footprints of perfection in history?

Why do I relish the idea of construction of a life of ideals- when it’s a fallacy

Why do I still cling on to the path of purpose and not give into the maze of mediocrity

What is this inner struggle with this tyrannous triad?

The question of life is like a serene hermit regaling in earthy exultation

The question of love is like a voluptuous angel dancing in heavenly jubilation

The question of purpose is like an enlightened sage smiling in peaceful gratification

Life, Love and Purpose. Isn't everybody’s life based on these jumble of spells?

I ask and I ask,Is there a meaning to look for, beyond this limited territory?

Or is our existence a mere accident in God’s factory

Are these the curses of our lives or the cures? A querulous quandary!

My Sanctum.

This mind of mine is a strange camouflage

It portrays a life of beauty and ambition

But it lazes around losing itself in the mélange –

Of boredom, worry and petty meaningless fun

This psyche of mine is cunning

Tries to reason all the wrongs that I have done with a lawyer-like tact

Validate every lie that I have told by springing up a red herring

It says, at that moment it was not immoral and shameful of me to put on that act

This mind of mine is a wishful oracle

Trying to feed me with the infinite possibilities

Envisioning dreams to reach that abstract pinnacle

To take that step and rewrite the crude realities

This psyche of mine is a paranoid lover

It loves me dangerously, guarding my heart with ironclad walls

It is a sunny leprechaun walking around with a cleaver

Making people fall in love but never pays heed to their calls

This mind of mine is a schizophrenic dreamer

One moment it is full off fervor ready to take on life’s adventure

Next moment it withdraws cowardly into a corner

Scared by delusions and illusions of a life of artificial allure

Bombarded by care, doubts, fear and over protection

I suddenly realized this crowded creepy world infiltrated my priced citadel

And this mind of mine has actually become a palace under their construction

So I have to run away, I shall not let it become the Tower of Babel

I will build my own fortress in my solitude here

I will sit by the lake of mesmerizing silver memories and hum

I will water the blossoms of future that are ever so beautifully clear

This mind of mine shall be mine alone!!!---My Sanctum.



** [Tower of Babel:(Genesis 11:1-11) a tower built by Noah's descendants (probably in Babylon) who intended it to reach up to heaven; God foiled them by confusing their language so they could no longer understand one another]