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PROLOGUE: We're always hoping that if we do the right thing,the right way, we'll be rewarded but what if there is no such invisible rule. What if Life is Just life...not an example that we need to make something out of.
What if we have all been misguided by phrases like "Follow your heart" and "Everybody has a destiny".
Just What IF!!
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Be the Captain’ of your soul I was told
And I decided to sail on the waters with nothing but pure
courage
With just the compass in my hand I decided to stand in the seasons of hot sun and shivering cold
I took the helm and burst out of the normalcy’s ‘cage’
I proclaimed "I AM my own Captain, I AM the navigator of my life"
The ship’s sails are up; the anchors away and I could write
my own story
Wrestling with the wind and cajoling the waters, getting
through every strife
Each and every turn will be either MY folly or MY very own
glory
The wind’s howling throws scares into my heart every day
The water's ferocious growling breaths ghosts of doubt into
my mind, triggering regrets
But the powerful image of what I want to be washes it all
away
The strength of the “dream” is much too bigger to succumb to
empty threats
Instead, I sing joyfully in the painful tones of my hunger
I dance blissfully with the tired scaled feet of my slaving
I clap rejoicing each turn with bruised hands as each day
gets longer
Each tone ,each step,each bruise is part of my story in the
making
As I finally see my path, to truly believe it --the map I fervently
clasp;
I’ll be seeing my dream come true soon, Ahhhh!! I am near it.
There is nothing like this feeling, knowing that your dream
is within your grasp
I could almost taste it…I could almost hold it
How the wind felt against the arc of my ear
How my hair flew like a Lioness does while reaching for its prey
How my hands trembled at the wheel both with urge and fear
How my heart kept beating faster, uncontrollably; going
astray
I scrambled for my maps, yes! It was supposed to be here, I’m
here i am finally here
And there was NOTHING. The map must be wrong! I needed an
affirmation
The mad mind kept hoping
my dream would materialize out of thin air, for the maps were clear
I frantically reached for the compass,I knew it had always showed me the
right direction
That particular minute’s every infinitesimal detail will
last with me for a lifetime
I'll never forget The diabolical black waters gushing and flooding into my dream of an Eden
The boom in my ears with thunders of painful memory of shattered hope and laughs of destiny's devilish crime.
I'll never forget The diabolical black waters gushing and flooding into my dream of an Eden
The boom in my ears with thunders of painful memory of shattered hope and laughs of destiny's devilish crime.
As i saw that The Beautiful Golden Compass, in my hand, the direction of my life--was broken.
Wonderful thought.. it just might be true :) as for the poem..u seem to have really worked hard on this one. Loved the analogy to the ships and the way u stuck to it.. nice fluidity!
ReplyDeleteJust a little thought for your next poem regarding style.. which I have been working on myself..sometimes less is more. It's definitely more challenging :)
A very apt prologue and well thought opening lines, summarized by
ReplyDelete"I AM my own Captain, I AM the navigator of my life", on par with
"I am the master of my fate:I am the captain of my soul" from Invictus by William Ernest Henley.
As usual, you are very creative with the use of analogies.
Hope this poem has nothing to do with what you are facing right now.
But if Life forbids, have enough courage to design a new compass and a new map(if needed), each time, because:
"Blessings" like you are must for the happiness of we "Humans" and the stronger your dreams, the happier our lives. :)
Thank you! :)
Deleteand no it is just a side of my imagination.
I'm trying to broaden the horizons of my poetry.
And such sweet last lines!! :)
Will never be forgetting this comment.
As I told, the theme, content and style is great but may be because of my lack of expertise in English or a slight probability of your typos or even lesser probability of an occasional mistake, I think you should re-read some of the lines and correct them if you think it is needed.
ReplyDeleteIn "We're always hoping that if we do the right thing the right way we'll be rewarded but what if there is no such invisible rule", did you miss any punctuation(comma) somewhere?
what did you actually mean by "The ships’s sails are up" is it "ship's" or "ships' "
and by "The waters ferocious growling" did you intend "The waters' ferocious growling"
I could interpret "As i saw that The Beautiful Golden Compass, in my hand, the direction of my life--was broken" correctly with a little effort. Can that be made simpler..
Also I feel there is a lack of coherence with regard to the "tense" of the event. Sometimes it seems like a present tense and sometimes like a piece of writing from someone's personal diary.
Please ignore if I am completely wrong in some of these observations.
Good luck!!
All your observations are spot on.
DeleteTypos and mistakes.
corrected them.
"Tense" is something i'm not so good at..hopefully in the future poems , there wont be any 'tense' issues.
Coming to the complexity of the sentense.. i tried to make it simpler.. but its beauty is getting lost.
I like it this way. So i decide to stick with .
Thank you soooo much for spending time on my poem and helping me refine it. :