Curses or Cures

The three words-Life,Love and Purpose

Have tormented me in so many ways

My heart,body,mind and soul have become their timid preys

They've driven a storm of angst without any pardons or parleys

Why is all my being consumed by these three words

Why does my mind plague itself with the questions with no answers?

Why does the heart wring itself with a thorny twine of faith just to form a pool of tears

Why does the soul try to lash it out on itself for having plain human fears?

What pleasure do I derive from these chaotic conundrums?

Why do I try to find the footprints of perfection in history?

Why do I relish the idea of construction of a life of ideals- when it’s a fallacy

Why do I still cling on to the path of purpose and not give into the maze of mediocrity

What is this inner struggle with this tyrannous triad?

The question of life is like a serene hermit regaling in earthy exultation

The question of love is like a voluptuous angel dancing in heavenly jubilation

The question of purpose is like an enlightened sage smiling in peaceful gratification

Life, Love and Purpose. Isn't everybody’s life based on these jumble of spells?

I ask and I ask,Is there a meaning to look for, beyond this limited territory?

Or is our existence a mere accident in God’s factory

Are these the curses of our lives or the cures? A querulous quandary!

My Sanctum.

This mind of mine is a strange camouflage

It portrays a life of beauty and ambition

But it lazes around losing itself in the mélange –

Of boredom, worry and petty meaningless fun

This psyche of mine is cunning

Tries to reason all the wrongs that I have done with a lawyer-like tact

Validate every lie that I have told by springing up a red herring

It says, at that moment it was not immoral and shameful of me to put on that act

This mind of mine is a wishful oracle

Trying to feed me with the infinite possibilities

Envisioning dreams to reach that abstract pinnacle

To take that step and rewrite the crude realities

This psyche of mine is a paranoid lover

It loves me dangerously, guarding my heart with ironclad walls

It is a sunny leprechaun walking around with a cleaver

Making people fall in love but never pays heed to their calls

This mind of mine is a schizophrenic dreamer

One moment it is full off fervor ready to take on life’s adventure

Next moment it withdraws cowardly into a corner

Scared by delusions and illusions of a life of artificial allure

Bombarded by care, doubts, fear and over protection

I suddenly realized this crowded creepy world infiltrated my priced citadel

And this mind of mine has actually become a palace under their construction

So I have to run away, I shall not let it become the Tower of Babel

I will build my own fortress in my solitude here

I will sit by the lake of mesmerizing silver memories and hum

I will water the blossoms of future that are ever so beautifully clear

This mind of mine shall be mine alone!!!---My Sanctum.



** [Tower of Babel:(Genesis 11:1-11) a tower built by Noah's descendants (probably in Babylon) who intended it to reach up to heaven; God foiled them by confusing their language so they could no longer understand one another]

THE GOLDEN COMPASS

                                                                      ********

PROLOGUE: We're always hoping that if we do the right thing,the right way, we'll be rewarded  but what if there is no such invisible rule. What if Life is Just life...not an example that we need to make something out of.
What if we have all been misguided by phrases like "Follow your heart" and "Everybody has a destiny".
Just What IF!!


                                                                    ***********

Be the Captain’ of your soul I was told

And I decided to sail on the waters with nothing but pure courage

With just the compass in my hand I decided to stand in the seasons of hot sun and shivering cold

I took the helm and burst out of the normalcy’s  ‘cage’

I proclaimed "I AM my own Captain, I AM the navigator of my life"

The ship’s sails are up; the anchors away and I could write my own story

Wrestling with the wind and cajoling the waters, getting through every strife

Each and every turn will be either MY folly or MY very own glory

The wind’s howling throws scares into my heart every day

The water's ferocious growling breaths ghosts of doubt into my mind, triggering regrets

But the powerful image of what I want to be washes it all away

The strength of the “dream” is much too bigger to succumb to empty threats

Instead, I sing joyfully in the painful tones of my hunger

I dance blissfully with the tired scaled feet of my slaving

I clap rejoicing each turn with bruised hands as each day gets longer

Each tone ,each step,each bruise is part of my story in the making

As I finally see my path, to truly believe it --the map I fervently clasp;

I’ll be seeing my dream come true soon, Ahhhh!! I am near it.

There is nothing like this feeling, knowing that your dream is within your grasp

I could almost taste it…I could almost hold it

How the wind felt against the arc of my ear

How my hair flew like a Lioness does while reaching for its prey

How my hands trembled at the wheel both with urge and fear

How my heart kept beating faster, uncontrollably; going astray

I scrambled for my maps, yes! It was supposed to be here, I’m here i am finally here

And there was NOTHING. The map must be wrong! I needed an affirmation

 The mad mind kept hoping my dream would materialize out of thin air, for the maps were clear

I frantically reached for the compass,I knew it had always showed me the right direction

That particular minute’s every infinitesimal detail will last with me for a lifetime
I'll never forget The diabolical black waters gushing and  flooding into my dream of an Eden
The boom in my ears with thunders of painful memory of shattered hope and laughs of destiny's devilish crime.

As i saw that The Beautiful Golden Compass, in my hand, the direction of my life--was broken.

               

Do Not Resuscitate

{ Prologue : A legal form to respect the wishes of a patient not to undergo CPR or advanced cardiac life support  if their heart were to stop.}

{A relationship's monologue }

When do you know its over?

When do you stop being a pushover?

When do you stop pushing yourself into the same dark ditch

When do you realize it’s the same wound,and once again you need a stitch

Wrapped around by astronomical ego,The individualistic mess

The bubble is bound to burst  from the twin obsessions’ coarseness

Under the human tendencies of infidelity and mistrusts

Under the pressure of seeking constant childish attention,it rusts

Life in its twisted sense of humor finds love,that one sunny-dark soul

People with innate mad urge of masochism,start exhausting their hearts as embers of coal

I am formed in painful devilish delight  and a sweet tingling torment

Too hard to let go,too painful to relent

They are too demanding ,They  are  too harsh

They want lovely lilies and dandy daffodils in the marsh

They ask for sunflowers and a blue-moon at once

I’m meek yet I’m strong; I survive on this strange precarious balance

I know love’s dark magic;blinded and dumb,I still embark

When the whole world is rejoicing for an event I find myself in the dark

Because of the exchange of harsh words,and for the things said

I am hurt more by the the things that are hidden and that remain unsaid

When the light is fading away,I don’t panic about the dark instead I crave

I walk in far too deep;I relish the strange high of being in the imposing cave

But then;My feet have cracked from walking on too many thorns

My ears  scaled from ignoring far too many blaring foghorns

I  know I cant stay any longer in this darkness

All the previous sweet nothings have evaporated into nothingness

Constantly hurt by the truth and pulling myself up

I’m  done gulping down the bitter bullets unconsciously and waking up

And so next time I’ll be ready with a smile on my face for your gambit

I’ll relish that one last love lash,that one last blinding bullet

With my chin held high ,just to show that I tried,each time even  harder

But each and every time you only made me weaker and far weaker

And all that was ignited has been extinguished again and again

I’m done waking with a shock back into life with your conceited love’s bargain

I've bled and you each delighted in your own egoistic triumphs,and you still are

But I’m done, I’m done now and I've signed my DNR

Woman

{Inspired from and Dedicated to Amma,on her B'day}

Many a thorn were laid in your path
By God, by us, by others but you never showed your wrath
Nor did you escape it by taking a bypath
Instead you made yourself stronger living through that bloody bath

You’re the true personification of earth
Can we ever know your heart’s depth?
How does it love so? How does it love so?
Even after all that we put you through, how does it still love us so?

We never knew you were in shambles
For you smiled through all your struggles
You hold your Love’s hand tighter than ever, every time that he crumbles
Never letting your face show sadness or anxieties’ crinkles

You’re the true personification of universe
Can we ever know your mind’s expanse?
How does it bear so? How does it bear so?
Even after all that we put you through, how does it still bear us so?

You chose a Man who can cross the oceans for you

He is your partner in every sense of it, standing true

Your love can make the immortal lovers gleam with pride

Whatever tiring times life has to offer, with him you defied

You’re the true personification of galaxy
Can we ever attain your love’s potency?
How does it linger on so? How does it linger on so?
Even after all that life has put you through, how does it still linger on so?

You came out of cancerous blues
you pulled us out of every fiscal ruse
you instilled in us forgotten subtle values
you give and give, never do you say no by just finding an excuse

You’re the true personification of God’s apple
Can we ever know your soul’s eternal giving, a riddle?
How does it continue so? How does it continue so?
Even after all that we put you through how does it continue so?

You’re that grain of sand that holds in it the life of yesterday
You’re that drop of rain that holds in it the ripples of today
You’re that beam of sun that holds in it the reason for morrow
You’re a Phenomenon-yesterday, today, tomorrow!

You’re a True Phenomenon!

Life through Prism

I want to realize every sentiment the world has to offer me

The beauty of a new place in its earthy nakedness

The complexities of nature in its sensual wilderness

The inexplicable challenges of motherhood

The allure of Faith and its ambrosial food

I want to explore the extremities of human emotions

The unreasonable anger against a sinner’s sneering clout

The nagging soreness of self-questioning, reaping a dangerous doubt

The unapologetic triumph over it through striking artistry

The continual undying passion in the pursuit of quality

I want just a whiff of what all is out there

The inanity of leading a life in recklessness

The helplessness and desperation in sickness

The paranoia of never finding Love

The insecurities of my shortcomings growing into a mangrove

I want to be able to say I’ve experienced everything!

The burning shame in failure that plunges me into an abyss

The unabashed pride in meeting my luscious success

The nostalgia of past with its many a flavored seasons

The excitement of future for its numerous enigmatic reasons

I want to fight every inferior feeling by living through them

The stings of jealousy towards that prettier girl

The ghosts of depression leading me into a downward whirl

The aches of uncertainty before it clots me in its frost

The mazes of misery before I completely get lost

I want to taste every Infinitesimal feeling that is humanly possible

The pangs of estrangement

The pleasures of love in its entanglement

The bitterness of loss

The sweetness of friendship in it’s guiding ethos

I want to decipher every heart beat of mine

The deep urge to hold someone

The strangling eagerness to say I love you to ‘The One’

The delicious hope of someone’s kiss

The impatience to fervently hug someone and sink in it’s Bliss!

I want to live it all

Not a life in prison, in the trappings of monotony’s pliers

But a life that shines through the prism in countless colors

From life when I’m released, from this world when I’m absolved

At The Gates of Heaven, I want to say “I HAVE LIVED!”

Faith

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” 
― Mahatma Gandhi

The Brahmin chanted the mantras with intensity

As the multitude of flowers, spread their fragrance

He sprinkled turmeric and rubbed vermilion fiercely

Like those were the defining moments of his existence

In the idol, he could see something more, something more than I could see

For I could just see a sculpture and its creator’s brilliance

But nothing more, that looked like it could answer all my wishes

Then I saw the fakir with his peacock feathers

And many a people in prostration, in utter devotion

With their holy hymns in the mosque,peace flowed in rivers

The believers call it an act of catharsis, a divine Purification,

Their belief was palpable; I stood admiring them and their prayers

I still failed to understand what brought in their gratification

I couldn't find in it,any reply that acknowledges all my wishes

Then I saw the Reverend, a personification of kindness,

Like it was a rare diamond--he held the Bible close to his heart

A smile on his face, he looked like he knew the way to happiness

With a sonorous deep voice, he orchestrated his sermon like Mozart

They were pearls of wisdom, words of simple greatness

Yet, I couldn't find the belief’s source, the core, the start

Nothing that could help me trust that someone will listen to my wishes

What triggers the belief in people? I couldn't help but feel jealous

They've unquestioning trust in an entity, proven only in fables

Just then I saw a young lady offering food to a man, a homeless

His face lit up with an expression of belief! He smiled,like she were a gift of the angels

I realized the faith that stood unwavering inside me, now vociferous

It stood unfailing through genocides, massacres and brutal battles

My every wish can only be granted by the Mankind!
My Belief!! My Faith lies in the mankind!

Too good to be true

When I'm black and blue,
Standing confused without a clue,
Somehow you always find out a way,
Making life look like a child's play,
Your love so true,that it's almost palpable,
What are you!?a figment or a fable?
Shed the disguise!and tell me who really are you?
Cos you're too good to be true,too good to be true

Moments

If eyes meet that's a moment for shyness.
if hands meet that's a moment of closeness.
if lips meet that's a moment of passion.
if hearts meet that's a moment of celebration.

Power of You

I could hear the rain outside,but i would rather hear your heart beat.
I could feel the warmth of the fire in the coldness,but i would rather feel the warmth of you.
I could see the beautiful moonlight,but i would rather be lost in your eyes.
I could be in the best places of the world,but i would rather be in rags with you.
I could be powerful,all on my own,but i would rather be a slave for you.

Masterpiece.

Seen you following my every move, on each step of the way,

The lowering of my eyes as my head tilts and as my hips sway

Made me conscious of my womanliness

Watched me lovingly, like a man, your look fighting away my heart’s loneliness

Your eyes looking at my lips, yearning

Like the desire to taste the forbidden fruit-burning

You made me feel like a masterpiece

Eager to touch with an awe that never seems to cease

Kites!!

Have you seen those two kites?

Soaring high crossing paths, taking bites

Have you seen those little tykes?

Trying to deter one another’s flights

Have you seen those kites’ fights?

Climbing high, then slowing down, teasing. Flirty delights!

Have you seen them fly together into the heights?

Curling around, trying to make a knot of eights

Have you seen them trying to become inseparable within our sights?

Doesn't it remind you of our loving nights?

Curled and snuggled in arms,our waltzing shadows under many a moonlights!

But time has conducted it's rites
pushing us into life's tedious twisted dendrites
My love,look at them fly,look at them fly into the skylights 
Doesn't it make you wish that we were just a couple of kites!

Ah! Just a couple of silly little kites.

The Candle,The letters and The Red Rose

The candle sways about its soft glow,

As the melted wax speaks in sorrow

The promises, the kisses, and the dances in the light of its halo

All extinguished! Nothing left but thin lingering fumes of memories

The stack of letters rustled,

Speaking of their importance, they bustled

The dreams, the scents, and the imaginations it housed

All dusty! Nothing left but traces of inky words of memoirs

The long-stemmed old red rose trembled wearily,

Voicing her momentous part in the love story

The smile, the proposal, and the “yes” it boasted of, as its own victory

All withered! Nothing left but shades of redness of loving reminisces

The candle, the letters and the rose stranded on the desk of teak

Three little things, carrying the eternal signs of love on each cheek

The trust, the faith and the love, they orchestrated to the peak

All remained! Indeed nothing had left! The lovers still lived in these souvenirs

In the candle’s glory, the still kissed and danced

In the letters’ hum, they still imagined and dreamed

In the rose’s quiver, they still chuckled and smiled

Lovers live on, their love mingles into everything. Never dies. It lives on and on!

Humanity.

Humans are masochistic by nature

We bring upon ourselves, diseases to cure

We bring upon ourselves, crises to endure

We make humanity, itself, impossible and unsure

Humans become sadistic as they grow

We find every means to hit the other person’s low

We find every emotional, mental, physical pain to throw

We make humanity, itself, an alien and a foe

Humans are jingoistic from birth

We made dictators. Dictators’ who burned men alive in a hearth

We have infinite hunger for power whatever plague it may unearth

We made humanity, itself, extinct and non existent on earth

We walk around with needles with viruses

We prick ourselves, and everybody. We’re Lynchers!

We pick our own scabs, until our fanatic blood gushes

We may be mass of flesh and blood, but we’re walking corpses

We successfully changed the meaning of Humanity:

Iniquity

Barbarity

Depravity

Entropy.

All beings walking around as mere reflections,

Blatantly crisp and clear images, but not quite whole

Standing concave and convex-like,just reflecting, not owning any of their actions

Bent inwards and flexed outwards, with invisible abnormalities of the soul

Each heartbeat plainly mimicking the sound of existence

Starkly sonorous and loud but quite appallingly empty

Programming life’s tunes into inaudible songs of deathly silence

And proclaiming it as music of spirituality, Ah! The idealists’ repartee

Every feeling flowing as a perfect imitation

Of superlative craft but not quite pure, like a rolled gold trinket

Unashamedly faking every sentiment, Blasphemous pretension!!

1 carat of genuinity but proudly masquerading as a 22 carat

Forging every aspect of being a human

Forging any and every feeling that can ever be felt

Consciously, emotionally becoming an orphan—

in the name of freedom but in fact forging everything that we've left.

Reached a point, in belief, a very cynical point-

Where anything beautiful must have plastic in it

Where any love story must have a break point

Where anything divine has a nasty secret behind it

A point of Human Entropy.

The Indian Woman

Her wavy hair was plaited, parted and lined with sindhoor

Like Hailey’s comet has turned red in the night sky to allure

Her big black eyes outlined with earthy kajal

Were like onyx diamonds studded in the heart of ocean, surreal!

A round vermilion dot between her shapely eyebrows

Like the morning sun standing between two black mountains,it glows

Her moist lips quivering in their pinkness

Were like a rose petal waltzing with a raindrop in freshness

Cotton white saree flowing, hiding every detail yet accentuating every contour

Was just like that mysterious waterfall hidden deep inside the beautiful forest of yore

While her lissome body rested on the frame of the door

While her toes anxiously drew circles on the floor

Her eyes were fixed on the turn at the street

Awaiting for the sound of wheel crushing the gravel and concrete

Her face lit with a glow of relief at the sight of him

She lowered her eyes and smiled at him

She retreated back into the house before the rickshawallah could lay eyes on her—

The Indian Woman.

Wings of Angels.

A Time when my love becomes too confusing

A Time when my heart is breaking

A time when I think I’m not good enough for anything

A time when all my dreams to achieve something are dimming

Standing under the mighty expanse of purple blue and crimson

I seem so little, so tiny, unworthy of any recognition

I desperately search for an angel to shine a little light on me

To shower a mighty big blessing on me

An angel to take away all my sorrow,

An angel to clear my heart’s every woe

A comforting hand touches my shoulder. ”An Angel!An angel”--

I celebrate for I'm blessed with the angel

I cry and it wipes my tears and holds my hand

My troubled heart is not fixed but I survive the emotional quicksand

I talk and talk until my heart feels better, the angel nods and smiles

And I realize I know that smile, I’ve seen it a million times

Now I know,Angels are not those fabled winged things

But those in my life, guarding me under my heart’s awnings

They don’t solve my problems or heal my gashes

But they give strength to do it myself with continuing coaxes

Angels-Not the ones I keep searching in the sky

But those in my life that hold my hand when I let out a cry

Those who slowly bring the broken pieces of me together

Those in my heart that help me make myself stronger

Each of us has our own set of beautiful angels

Angels with no wings or a wand to cast spells

But Angels, Beautiful angels who pull us up from our emotional marshes

Who can release us from our fate’s agonizing jinxes

I've discovered "The Angels",I found my Angels on Earth

Angels walking with me, filling my life with mirth

Angels whose love for me has no ramparts

My angels, raising me up with the wings of their hearts

Being Human

      

 God,

Make me immune to all that I may see-squalor and slime
Make me impervious to all that I may breathe- stench and grime

Make me oblivious to all that I may feel-pain and agony

Make me human, an unemotional wall with boundaries as family.

Let me have no conscience to grapple with,

to forget the lil girl picking an apple from a heap of wet trash, with

 hungry eyes and dilated pupils 

Let this memory be erased that is burning my temples.

Let me have no decency to rebel

Just forget the scars, the black eye of the belle

Going on with her routine saying she fell from the stairs

Let me gulp down her lies, oh! Let me not shed my priceless tears.

Let me have no warmth to offer

Forget the boy who smiles unaware of his sickness, unaware of his parents’ sin

Living unbeknownst of the devilish lesions growing on his body

Let me have no guilt of being part of this travesty.

Let me feel no responsibility. For what is it to me? They’re not my kin!

Let me bury myself in superstitious beliefs and believe it’s their sin

With all the malignant forces sucking all the innocent life away

Unburden me; let me be numbed to the heartless human decay.

Unburden me from the guileless questions of orphans

Unburden me from the heartache of homeless elders

Unburden me from the miseries of violated women

Unburden me from the pure laughter of sick children.

Make me insensible to the cries of others

Make me shallow for the wounds of my fellow brothers

Bless me with rudeness and lewdness

Bless me with impotence and ignorance.

For isn’t this all Being human?

Then God!! Make me Human.

His li'l girl.Always.

Dedicated to Dad. On his B'day! :)

“Damn!! I am beautiful”, it was the first time that I paid myself a compliment in my entire life.
I indeed was looking extremely pretty in the white satin wedding gown.
The day had finally come, and thankfully nothing had gone wrong.

My hair has taken the form that I wanted it to take instead of having it’s own mind.
There was no pimple on my face, which was surprising as they find their way and definitely make a great appearance on very important days.
The gown fit perfectly even though I had eaten 10 chocolates the previous night to calm myself from the excitement.

No excited relative has come jumping to kiss me and botch up my entire make up.

So all in all, I felt like the prettiest thing on Earth.
Just when I was about done admiring myself, my dad had come in… He looked at me first, like I was a beautiful vision in awe, then his eyes changed their expression to happiness and then to pain…all in a matter of seconds.

He came to me and asked “All done? It’s time.” There was a sense of loss in his voice.

A tone matching a kid’s who had just lost his newly acquired prized possession.

I took his arm and walked.

For a second. My entire life until now had played it’s most important moments and all had him standing right by my side

His eyes lighting up in all happy memories

His eyes putting up a brave front whenever I was sad

The movies we both watched together

The books we discussed so intensely

The times I shut the door on him but later crawled back to his side( a gesture equivalent to sorry)

The few mornings, he complained that I fell asleep without giving him the daily goodnight kiss.

All of these flashed in front of me…and at that moment I became sad too.

Can’t I be his lil girl forever?

Protected from everything.

Promised to never be hurt.

Then I looked at the man with whom I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, smiling widely, waiting for me, ready to speak his vows.

He knew exactly how important my family was to me.

He realized long back how essential my dad was to me, when I kept yakking about him the entire day on our date.

He knew he had to win my dad to win my hand.

And he did succeed with his embarrassing attempts to win. In that I saw how much he loved me.

My heart longed to be his’

But it ached to leave my father.

I stared with a cloud of confusion at him.

He understood immediately, and smiled weakly and started walking towards me; all the guests were in as much confusion as I was, not knowing what was happening

He came to me and whispered “You’re always his lil girl, I wouldn’t take you away from him, Never. I just want to be part of your life, your love and you”

I smiled with tears in my eyes and looked at the man walking me down the aisle.

My dad, who was lost in his own ocean of emotions, embraced him like a son thankful for the much necessary assurance.

As the groom took his place back, my father looked at me with eyes full of love and joy and sense of relief.

We both laughed at our last minute childish thoughts, and he walked me down.

And there I was standing between two men, one who is still unsure to let go of my hand and the other anxious to take my hand.
Can a girl get any luckier??

I kissed my dad, and said “I’ll always be your little girl.”

Alone and Awake

I see the world drowning in an ocean of mediocrity

Man has successfully tarnished everything he can with utmost alacrity

Food is adulterated and Love is contaminated

Greatness extinct and Innovation endangered

A Man is raised to Martyr’s status just for doing his job

I questioned why? They called me “Arrogant” snob

Charity extended to the lazy slobs of the street

And I said I won’t join, Then they called me a Heartless Beast

Thousands of people turning into dung beetles

Feeding on the dirt, altering into mindless weasels

Adding one to their troop daily, in the name of “The greater good”

Nagging me to join them, in their cheap celebrations of sainthood

“It’s not cheating if it’s helping the man pass his test

It’s not wrong if it’s helping the man lead a better life” a wise guy professed

Argued I “Elevating the average ones to higher stature in the name of equality,

Giving them worth that they don’t deserve is a complete debauchery

Let an able man struggle on his own to reach his heights.

Don’t let the people feed on the brains of intellectuals like parasites

Let the quality of mind be elevated, not their unending greed

Let them not shrivel into a sniveling crowd of human breed

Mediocrity is strengthening it’s grip, as Quality of life is going to dust

Friendship based on give and take…Love based on nothing but lust

Let us not just be voyeurs, standing still, let us start again, and learn about Humanity

Walk with me and we’ll rewrite our future together, that’s heading towards calamity”

I took a step forward and I saw that nobody even tried

I looked at them longingly once again but no one came to my side

I sighed and walked, the sound of soil under my sole feet was like a whip lash

For I was alone in this fight, to clean the invisible barbaric trash

The angst of seeing a good entity not being respected

While the poor one being applauded and treasured

An ordinary thing winning over the inexplicable beauty of greatness

Is too much of a pain to gulp down one’s throat without feeling any vainness

I toss and turn in my self inflicted sleep deprivation

Fighting the new challenging ways of degradation

Searching for undiscovered cures for this Prodigal Humiliation

Lying awake, just to find a solution to annihilate this abomination

 Failure after failure…falling in to the pit of darkness

And making myself rise again fencing every weakness

I may be Alone and Awake through this journey

But I shall not succumb to the engulfing mediocrity

Alone and Awake I’ll be.

For the world I want to see.

I’ll strive through it all, awake and alone… 

Alone and Awake.